I found that clown outfit you were looking for.

Looking for the perfect outfit, for that chic event?  Well, I have just the thing, to make you look like the demure flower that you are.  Behold, another gracious, gorgeous, timeless collection from our favorite, American Apparel.

Fleece poncho, for those "I want everybody to know that I'm on my period and I'm SUPER bloated" days.

Ever look at an homemade oven-mit and think "Yes, that! That will be the inspiration for my freshest new look!"?  Well, apparently somebody did.

The "Fu** you, I don't care. You'll still buy it" top.

The "I have syphilis and I need tight pants to keep the inflammation at bay" leggings.

The "I just wanted to make sure that I got my crotch in the picture" shoes.

-The Mormon

Are You Effing Kidding Me? (Forever 21)

This segment of fashion terrorism is brought to you by the letters "F" and "U", with valued contributions from the number 21. With no further delay, I bring you Forever 21, a shining beacon of innovative fashion and fresh perspective. Behold!

"This season, we offer you a beautifully creative dress...or shirt...or whatever, eff you." Forever 21

Are you in your mid 40's? Do you have a teen daughter? Are you trying to be best friends with your teen daugher and/or her friends? Do you go clubbing with your teen daugher and/or her friends? Well then, this top is for you!

Tired of that curvy figure? Hate those feminine hips? Well, then, we have something very special for you. Here are some jeans, specifically designed to take that hourglass shape, and stuff it into a rectangle. You're welcome.

Wondering why the Queen was looking so distant and distracted throughout the olympic opening ceremonies? Our sources tell us that it's because she saw this image, in the final seconds leading up to the event.

I can't. I can't do it anymore.

-The Mormon

Uuuuuuuuuumkay......no.

Jeffrey Campbell boots.... Really? Cat tapestry? Really? Carpet shoes? REALLY? I am so angry about these! Do NOT buy these effing shoes! Your "bestie", the one who is trying to convince you to buy them, hates you to the core, and is trying to steal your boyfriend. If you wear these shoes....she will succeed. I promise.

-The Mormon